A counselor at the BFC is describing her approach to get women to think about using extra protection with oral sex by emphasizing the threat of vaginal infections. She also describes how she got through to a middle aged man who refused to wear condoms.
C: In my sessions I could say the only thing I get a little more uhm (.) forceful in discussing is when they're doing anal sex and then I talk to them and the women basically the same way when I talk about they need to put a rubber on because then I describe all the high risks of anal sex but I also talk about the other things that go on with anal sex, the bacteria, the infections and then leaving from the anus and going right into the vagina, I always tell the story that the vagina is a very sensitive thing and she's very particular and she doesn't like seeing anything foreign come in there and so you could create a whole lot of other problems when you go from the rectum unprotected straight into the vagina, because she is going to give the woman the what for if she doesn't like, if you bring anything in there that she doesn't like, so, and I found that the women really listen because they can relate and I said, and I am not talking about yeast, yeast infection, I said, you know the anal is is the organ for the waste product to go out, I said so you bring that into the vagina, she's gonna let you know in so many ways she is not pleased.
And see women can relate to that, we got enough to deal with, so they'll go, oh really, I never thought about that aspect of it, you know and I said, and if you haven't you know gotten anything by now you've been very lucky but you know, you don't know uhm do you douche? if you don't douche after you have sex when you've had anal sex, particles could still be in there and the women, the women are like oh yeah, he will be using a rubber from now on, because they don't want to go through that and then the men get to be very understanding too and they go, really?, and I was like oh yeah, then they got to go to the doctor and the doctor has to you know do a, a exam and I said most likely she's gonna know that something, something foreign's in there and you know, it could be embarassing for your partner let alone the complications of the infection and the medication and how long she has to take it and they'll go, oh, oh I never thought about that. So I have gotten a lot of uhm, men to commit to definately they don't want to use a condom any other time, they will use a condom for anal sex, just I think by telling them about the problems they could cause
N: So, the idea being use the condom for anal sex and then take it off
C: Take if off
N: So you have a clean penis
C: Yes, or change it if they want to be completely protected, change it, and I said yes and it will slow down the momemtum a little bit, I said but it's better to slow it down than give your partner an infection, you know. And they say well would it be an STD, I said no it's a different type of infection, it's a bacteria
N: like a bladder infection
C: It could be, and it could go up into the pelvic and it's uh, you know it can cause a lot of problems. So uhm, and I have gotten a lot of people to commit and a lot of females who were just like, uhm really didn't care go oh, yeah, yeah, you know. So uhm, cause what I had done was I had called my GYN doctor and asked her about bacteria like that and some of the problems that it can cause.
I had this really redneck client, and I didn't talk about him in post shift. He was big, he was a burly man, looked like a lumber jack, and he had, he was 46 years old he had never used a condom before in his life, never had any intention on using a condom, and if the women insisted that he use a condom he'd get up, put his clothes on and he'd leave. His attitude was like "never used it, never will use it, and I'm just here." And by the time we finished, he was picking out condoms.
N: Wow, how'd you do that?
C: I went through he size thing, I
talked about from the vagina to the
anus, I talked about uhm not only
having some respect for himself but some
respect for his various
partners, cause he was everywhere, and very proud
of it and I was saying,
you know, having some respect for his partners and
the way he could
respect his partners is to protect them, and so we talked
about that.
For a different perspective on counseling around anal sex see Let's face it, sex is not hygienic
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