A BFC counselor describes how she trained herself, with a little help, of course, to know the qualities and charateristics of different condoms. She describes how she teaches clients to think creatively and erotically about using condoms.
C: The other thing that I think uhm (. .)was unusual and I'll probably disclose this sometime during one of, one of the post-shift meetings it will come out is uhm, [another counselor] had mentioned this,she thought me and my husband swung, we were swingers cause she couldn't understand why I knew so much about condoms and why I kept asking so many questions about condoms. So she was like, uhm, I wonder why you know so much and you're curious about, well how does this work. Well one of things I personally feel is how can you tell somebody how to use a condom if you don't know how to use it yourself? and uhm, I like to be able to say this is thin, this is thick, this does this, this does that, this you know has this flavor or whatever, uhm, so I try em. And so when we were there and we got those new ones
Nicolas: But even then you're still second hand, right?
C: Right, right, but we try em, uhm,
N: And he gives you good feedback
C: Yeah, and I I get the feedback, that's how I know the ribbets don't work, you know, the rib condoms don't work for the female but they work great on the men and that's what I tell them so people are kind of looking at me and so that's why when we got those new condoms this past weekend, uhm, I sort of felt a little inadequate because I'm so used to being able to tell people this is this size, this is this size, this will do this,
N: Which ones were the Maxx ones?
C: The Maxx ones and those uhm couple I brought em home. The Maxx is very similar to the Beyond Seven.
N: Very thin
C: Yeah we tried that, it is.
N: Also, very stretchy
C: So it's kind of, you know I think that you, you need to be able to know a little bit about, specially when you have someone who doesn't want to use it, who'se very negative about it and you're up there saying well maybe you can try this and maybe this will work. And, like I said, I ask sizes, uhm because if I'm talking to a man who'se well endowed and I'm giving him rubbers that are too small, then I'm defeating the purpose. If I'm talking to a man that's not well endowed, and I'm givin him rubbers that are too big, you know. And again, the rubber conversation and the size you are usually comes toward the end and they're just open, you know, they're just ready to tell me anything I want to know.
See I'm you know, for me to ask somebody what size they are, I'd be like, well what are you using now? how's it feel? you know so you know, that's pretty brave. But you know it's easier for, for me being a woman, for them to really get the point of uhm..
N: And what you're doing is you're not telling them so much about condoms but you're modeling an attitude about condoms.
C: Right. Like this is something great that you just have to get used to. Where your whole approach to it is what they're learning. Right, and I also tell them about uhm being sensual about it and it's not the old fiddle fun, got to put the raincoat on, she can put it on him, he can even do it very romantically you know. I had a couple, I was showing them how to rip it in one rip, instead of that chu chu chu kind of thing. That's chu. And that looks, you know, if I was laying there waitin' for you, that would look pretty erotic to me that you could do it in one rip, I would be thinkin' what else can you do in one rip? You know (laughter), so that you know, so it kind of builds the ego up on the men who are like, were, have been sworn against it, and those are the men that I found that used them earlier in their youth, uhm fiddle-faddled around with them, didn't like them, Trojans were very very thick back then, uhm, not a lot of lubrication back then, so if you happen to be with a very dry partner or a partner that went dry it was just a frustrating experience for a lot of men but they had to do it in order to prevent pregnancy. And now when the pill came into the revolution, then their attitude is like uhh shhuh, there you go, I'm done... But then I talk to them about other things.
Continues: Counseling women around safer anal sex.
Index of test counselor narratives
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